Today that means waking to lashings of hot tea, the undeniable smell of bacon frying in the pan and eggs sunny side up, ticks all my boxes, oh and where’s that fried tomato. Of course I should probably be doing something with hymns and a prayer book but I blame my current incapacitated state.
So while the eggs are sizzling and I have been served with my third mug of steaming tea allow me to update you on my progress. I am now on crutches , yes I know, it doesn’t sound that exciting to you, but to me this is a whole new chapter in my healing process and it is frigging great actually. Though I have to say they are not as easy to use as you might think and with only 50% weight bear permitted on my left leg it’s a mathematical conundrum, I mean how do you calculate that.
I interrupt my crutch news to inform you that my Sunday breakfast has just been placed in front of me and I am in shock. ‘Where’s the bacon?’ I ask as I stare down at eggs on toast, aghast and dismayed.
‘There is none’ I am informed by my smiling cheery chef, he would kill me for calling him that but like many he never reads my blogs and rants anyway so I have artistic freedom to say what ever I wish.
‘But we always have bacon on a Sunday’, I am staring at the plate when I am offered a German sausage because that’s what my Godsons are having. ‘A German sausage!!!’ Paints a strange picture I know, I decline as I tuck into my eggs on toast with as much excitement as I can muster and so shall continue with my news.
During the past three months being confined to the ground floor of my house using only a gutter framed zimmer frame (google it) has been a nightmare made even worse by the fact that two managed to break whilst supporting me mid stride. The second actually sheered in half and fell on my good leg breaking my skin and I bled. I was in the garden at the time and so started the process of tracking down a replacement.
I called the number on the side of the broken apparatus a company called NRS. Spoke to a lady who informed me that a replacement couldn’t be delivered out for between 24 and 48 hours. When I asked her if I should sit in my garden for the next two days as I have no way of getting back inside without a frame she adopted that lovely new UK service attitude with me ‘You can’t speak to me like this, I will put the phone down, I do not have to put up with this’ My goodness I wasn’t even being rude I simply asked if I should camp out for a couple of nights. I eventually spoke to her manager she was more helpful and said that she would do her best to sort this out for me. I asked her who NRS were and she said that they were the appointed suppliers of equipment under contract to the Kent County Council and the National Health Service. This is where it gets ridiculously interesting.
So I asked why don’t you just get me a new zimmer frame from your stores. So it seems that NRS don’t have any, you see they have to get them from their contracted supplier, who it seems in turn then get them from their contracted distributor, who in turn get them from a choice of manufacturers. No I did not make that up. There are four different companies in the mix, each one making a profit along the way. When I asked who oversees the process I was told there was an independent committee made up of senior officials from, wait for it, Kent County Council. Independent !!!!!!!!!! Holy Crap!!!!
Mmmmmmmm so NRS are contracted to Kent County Council and to make sure things are all above board they are overseen by an independent committee comprised of senior members from the Kent County Council, wreaks of back handers if you ask me. And then, get this, once a zimmer frame or any other piece of equipment is booked out to an NHS patient, did you know the NHS pay for that piece of low quality bundle of crap by the hour. Yes our dear, dwindling, running out of money, run by moronic administrators and ineffectual managers actually pay under contract agreed by Twats on the board of the Kent County Council by the bloody HOUR !!!!!!!!! And that is true of every county council in the UK.
Add to this that Kent County Council have just awarded NHS patient transport contracts to G4S one of the worlds largest companies at a staggering £90,000,000 cost for Kent alone it blows your mind. And I have used this service and it is being abused by many and used like a free taxi service. I am appalled at the way the NHS is run and it’s time people knew about it. Now I’m going to finish on another cup of tea as my rant comes to an end and I have just found out that we are not having a roast today so I think I need to have a lie down.